Up All Night

Hello fellow blogger,

Its late and I am taking advantage of the time I have to myself.
watching chick flicks, blogging, having a glass of wine - just relaxing.

All day like every other Mom, I think about and do my best to be a good Mom, wife, sister, daughter and so on. Basically, I love the life I have and wish all friends of mine to be as lucky as me. We don't have a huge amount of money in fact we barely make it, however I wake up and say its great to be alive. I fought cancer 6 years ago and make it my duty to thank, god, Alla, Buddha, and anyone else up there who can recognize how grateful I am to be very healthy.

I have an aquaintance who lost a child to the above mentioned illness. No kid deserves to go through that...ever!I have posted a picture of her.

My very large dog has just lumbered into the room. He is my true companion, bad breath and all.

be well today

Remoteness

Today the weather was beautiful and sunny. Everyone had a wonderful experience: the day bursted with good tidings. Mostly, because of the newest member of our family. The new television.

My husband and son could not go a week without viewing favorite shows and gazing into the vast wasteland known as "prime time".

Before I go any further, I would like to introduce you to the many television butlers or remotes we own. There is Harry the mild, only to be used with the VCR, Sherry the melodious - only for assistance with the sound system, then Fred, used daily a hardworking guy - mostly earning peanuts for working night and day. Then there is Florence, forlorned by the fact we have no idea who or what she belongs to and the HUGO the Large, born from a nagging husband who always spews words of my loosing the remote, a large selector given as a gift can never be lost. One or two have no name, mostly because they've been around so long and all they do is sleep.

My point is, selection devices, while creating ease, can become new members of your family!

Time out for Mom

Recently I spoke of the positive discipline I am trying to integrate into our daily life.

In the past there have been friends I have needed a time out from. Some where too intense for me to deal with, other just had a negative edge. A number of weeks ago I got angry with a friend's thoughtless remarks. Honestly, my husband and I both see fat and ugly women particularly who just think they know it all. They are all over the place.

After months of hanging out with this new friend of mine I finally worked up enough gumption to say hey, "I am upset with some things you are doing, I need a break". So a break she did give me. In essence she stopped talking to me all together, saying instead it was because she'd just had a medical procedure. I am sad and happy in a way because I spend too much time alone
in my opinion, however also feeling a wave of relief because this person was so overbearing and negative it was really draining.

I guess its a matter of becoming friends with those you feel truly comfortable with rather than
those you feel sorry for. Its going to take me a little while to find another friend to hang with....until then I am happy to be where I am.

See below for thoughts on lost friendships:

However hard you may try losses are inevitable…One day, after an unsatisfactory phone call or after a strained talk at an all-out blowout, you mutter to yourself, "What's wrong? Why am I not feeling he/she longer like a friend? Something has gone…has been lost" WHY?...Why would a once close friend suddenly, or even gradually, turns into lost friend?...Well... Most friendships break for one of three main reasons: a major change such as marriage or a move...neglect...or the betrayal. Here we'd suggest to take a closer look at each one.

Change
The most frequently and usually friendship is disrupted because of a major change—for better or worse—in the life of a friend. The change factor is part emotional and part practical. Since most friendships begin when both people are going through similar experiences, when something big happens to change the status of one friend (good job, financial success, romantic relationships or marriage), it's human nature for the other to feel some envy—"Why he/ she and not me?". And vice versa if a friend's life is going downhill that is human nature to give up the relationship avoiding contact with a LOST friend...And for sure discovery of new limits on time, energy, and attention is mere practical source of contention between friends. The friend whose life has changed least will usually have to make more accommodations, at least during the initial period of change. Whatever the case, you can count on change to impact even your most treasured lifelong friendships.

Neglect
Life is motion…all what is our life has to constantly move forward…we have to work, develop, never let it die out…Some friendships die because they aren't moving forward. They die from stagnation or plain neglect. You promised to call but didn't. You knew it was your friend's birthday, but were too busy to celebrate…Think about it. When we're busy, we only do what comes easy, and even good friendships aren't always easy. Lack of attention and concern is sure to cause a rift. And when it does, it almost always catches us off guard, when we least expect it or can least handle it: when we're going through stressful times at school, work, or home that make us less attentive and less able to respond—which is what caused the neglect to begin with. That's why it can seem that the best friendships break precisely when we need them the most.

Betrayal
Betrayal is the most painful reason loosing friend…this is a case when lost trust results in lost friend. Your confidant, who knows your darkest secrets (how deeply you're in debt or your struggle with an eating disorder), has let one of them out of the bag. And what is morel, your close friend has the power to hurt you precisely because he/ she knows you so well; your deepest secrets arm his/her with the emotional weapon that can cut you to the core. And you're left wondering if he/she will do it again...

Lost friend takes leave with a bang or whimper...Those that whimper simply dissolve from neglect, having run their natural course. It is normal to shed friends throughout our lives: when we leave school, when we change jobs, when we move to a new city, even when we drop an aerobics class. Start a new romance, get married, have children, and you probably leave behind a circle of friends...Friendships ending with a bang are more likely the result of an unexpected change or a more dreadful betrayal...

Regardless of how a friendship breaks, with a bang or a whimper, you will inevitably find yourself wondering whether it should be repaired, whether you should do what you can to salvage what is left or just let it go. If you value a relationship that has come to the end of the road, we urge you not to write zour lost friend off completely—at least not just yet. Okay, so you've been burned, betrayed in a way you never deserved. You want to get even. But you have a choice: you can experience some momentary satisfaction by slamming the door shut and keeping it locked with offence, or you can give yourself space and time to cool off and collect your thoughts...Time really does have away of healing deep hurts. Time allows forgiveness to wash away anger and keep us healthy. Returning lost friend and restored relationship can give us perspective on our experiences, deepen our lives. So...every cloud has silver lining...Think about it...




and then another thought on friendship-The other side of the coin and a male point of view I might add. http://www.succeedsocially.com/suckyfriends


Be the best you can be today.

What day is it?

I woke up feeling very unsettled.

Not sure what day it is. I finally got to the point where I am so tired I need to take a break.

Ahhh sitting in a position holding the computer on my lap. Its sunny today, but I am still feeling a little detached from all of this.



The television is not working as of last Thursday evening, so I am listening to the news, CNN Headline News that is. My husband adores Robin Meade and even has an autographed photo by his desk. The loss of the television has been a godsend! We actually had breakfast together last Friday. My seven year old son asked me to play a board game with him yesterday. I know its a challenge not having the entertainment available, however I see we are interacting more. I am truly happy and think it could help my family be healthier and more intelligent. Here is an article from The University of Michigan that could be good for caregivers to be aware of- http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/tv.htm

Recently, my son received a medical diagnosis for adhd. For years we suspected that something could be wrong, however now we are in position to help him. There is a great deal of literature out there about why kids become adhd. Some have sited that its because of the mother drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes during pregnancy (I never even had coffee or chocolate, nevermind drink or smoke) and others report it is genetic. Then other studies like the information listed above show that it could be caused by the viewing the television early in life, (before the age of two according to the article).

I have always been a great advocate of reading and being creative. I am glad to say even though my husband is a little uncomfortable with not being able to view television, I am relieved to think it is better for all of us. Here is a list of things to do instead of television:

By Amber Price, the owner of My Sweetdreams Baby online store for babies, children and mom.

Here is a great list of 101 things to do with your kids- great for when you're needing some inspiration. Have fun!
101 Fun Things to Do with Kids
1. Go on a nature walk and collect different things.
Make a collage with those things.
2. Make cookies together.
3. Draw a family picture.
4. Play charades.
5. Finger paint with shaving cream on paper.
6. Make homemade playdough and sculpt with it.
7. Go to a park and swing on the swings.
8. Go to the zoo.
9. Visit a fire station and take a tour (call ahead.)
10. Fly a kite together.
11. Go to a pond and feed the ducks.
12. Plant a garden.
13. Go to story time at the library.
14. Make instruments out of items around the house.
15. Decorate picture frames or outlet covers.
16. Paint with watercolors.
17. Make paper dolls that look like each child.
18. Work on a scrapbook together.
19. Make homemade ice cream.
20. Make a piñata with Paper-Mache.
21. Go on a picnic.
22. Go for a walk.
23. Sing songs together.
24. Make a gingerbread house out of graham crackers.
25. Find a local farm and take a tour.
26. Go play at an indoor playground (at a mall, restaurant, etc.)
27. Play a sport together.
28. Look through magazines, cut out pictures and make a collage.
29. Visit a children’s museum.
30. Make pudding and finger paint with it.
31. Trace the child’s silhouette on paper and let him color it in.
32. Make a card for someone.
33. Let the child help you make dinner.
34. Make a paper cup telephone.
35. Go to a movie
36. Learn more about your state’s history. Draw the state flag, learn about the state animals, etc. 37. Make crafts with Popsicle sticks.
38. Go for a walk after it rains and stomp in the puddles.
39. Ride bikes together.
40. Rent a video, make popcorn and have a movie night.
41. Plan a family vacation together.
42. Go rollerblading together.
43. Write a story.
44. Read a book together.
45. Make a birdhouse or pine cone bird feeder.
46. Make holiday decorations.
47. Have a tea party.
48. Write a poem.
49. Have a backyard BBQ.
50. Play a family board game.
51. Sleep in backyard.
52. Go to a professional sporting event
53. Go bowling.
54. Play hide and seek.
55. Decorate a T-shirt with paints or markers.
56. Make a homemade journal.
57. Decorate a brown paper bag and play dress up in it.
58. Put on a puppet show.
59. Go to a children’s theater.
60. Make a cereal necklace.
61. Play catch.
62. Take silly pictures and print them or get them developed.
63. Blow bubbles.
64. Play group games like mother may I; red light, green light; and duck, duck, goose.
65. Go to a lake and play on the beach or ride in a boat.
66. Go sledding or skiing.
67. Build a snowman.
68. Roast marshmallows over the stove and make S’mores.
69. Play Frisbee or Frisbee golf.
70. Do science experiments together.
71. Go mini-golfing.
72. Make “oobleck”.
73. Go to a museum.
74. Exercise together.
75. Go hiking.
76. Put on music and dance.
77. Have a paper airplane flying contest.
78. Teach child to sew and make a blanket or a pillow.
79. Go swimming.
80. Make a paper plate mask.
81. Build a crystal radio.
82. Play 20 questions.
83. Spend time learning about another culture.
84. Do the child’s handprints.
85. Start a collection together (i.e. Stamps, coins, stickers, etc.)
86. Paint clay pots and plant flowers in them.
87. Draw with sidewalk chalk.
88. Go out for lunch or dinner.
89. Go camping.
90. Tell jokes.
91. Make a meal that you can eat with just your fingers.
92. Make smoothies.
93. Draw pictures with your toes.
94. Go to the mall and eat in the food court.
95. Play with a pet.
96. Color pictures in a coloring book or print out coloring pages from the Internet.
97. Make a noodle picture-paint uncooked noodles and glue them to paper.
98. Write letters to family or friends.
99. Have a tickle war.
100. Do a crossword puzzle or word search together.
101. Give them a big hug and tell them you love them!

I know I am going to refer to this list this week.

Have a wonderful day, enjoy the sunshine if you can.

Sunday ... Sunday

I enjoy that song about Sunday by the Beatles. Today is a welcome break from the hectic nature of the past 2 weeks.

I am sitting with my son while he is taking a break from home work. Most often homework for us is a huge fight. I negotiate with him until he does it. time for work, then time for play and so on. He is creating a comic and acting it out with sound. There might be a time when I have to get an umbrella because as he is acting it out he is also spewing spray when things explode in his story.

Now we are back to work reading and next to practice math. I am so aggravated because he is fighting me, finally I had to yell at him to focus. I feel horribly about this, but know sometimes its the only way I can get in to tune in to my channel. Now he is working independently. I truly dislike parts of the "No child left behind bill", http://www.ed.gov/nclb/landing.jhtml that has made our schools into competitive test taking locations for our kids. I wonder how my child will feel about learning when he gets to my age. I know it has increased federal funding for our schools and offered other educational opportunities to make sure everyone has a chance. The dislike relates to the PART of the bill.

Discipline in our house is admittedly a work in progress. Now that we are almost done with our daily reading and math practice I am definitely ready to crack open a nice red zin to have a glass and chill out. My Mom, (god rest her soul), was strict with my sibling and I. At that time hitting kids was a way of showing limits. Today it is not. You never know what damage could be done to a kid by doing the wrong type of punishment. I can say operand conditioning worked great
with my dog. Since humans can learn more than 100 words I think a better way to do it is positive discipline. I am trying this and it is helping click on the web page to view The Positive Discipline Method, http://www.positivediscipline.com/What_is_Positive_Discipline.html.

Well on to my next task as super frump: Its to make dinner for lumpy and dumpy.

Be happy and enjoy every moment of your life,

M